Sticks and Stones

Our eighth graders have been in a discussion about words lately. We’ve talked about all sorts of words. Kind words. Harsh words. Encouraging words. Destroying words. They’ve come to understand that our words matter. They have an impact. They can impact lives. Sometimes in a good way, but in many cases in a bad way. […]

Our eighth graders have been in a discussion about words lately. We’ve talked about all sorts of words. Kind words. Harsh words. Encouraging words. Destroying words. They’ve come to understand that our words matter. They have an impact. They can impact lives. Sometimes in a good way, but in many cases in a bad way. Words can give messages of fear or hatred or superiority or worthlessness. And, unfortunately, we send those kinds of messages too often. Even more often than we intend to.

But we’ve been experimenting with some new words in the eighth grade. Words that uplift. Words that inspire. Words that draw us together. We envision a school full of those words. A school where students feel safe to express themselves. A school where students are glad to come to because they are encouraged. Not just by teachers, but by peers, older role models, and even younger schoolmates. Could you imagine a school like that? Well, the eighth grade can. And they are doing something to get there.

On Wednesday they hung a sign in the hall that reads “I want to be/feel…”. Under that phrase are blank spaces where students are free to anonymously share the things they want to be and feel. To their excitement it began to fill up within hours. It seemed that nearly everyone who walked by wanted to add a word. Words like “special” and “brave” and “respected”. Also, words like “skinny” and “beautiful” and “smart”.

This picture was taken the morning after the sign was put up. Now, students are having to write in empty areas because all the lines have been filled.

So what can we take away from this? If you are a parent or teacher reading this, know that our students want to be heard. They want to be able to express themselves in a safe environment. An environment where they know their feelings will be validated and not met with unkind words.

And if you’re one of the students, know that you’re not alone. If this experiment proves anything, it’s that we all have needs and desires. And many of them happen to be similar. And, as it turns out, none of us have reached perfection. So be forgiving. Give your classmates the freedom to fail and to make mistakes. And when they do, don’t remind them of it. Tell them it’s okay. Mistakes happen. Because your words matter.